June 17th is my day, not January 1st, like most people.
On June 17th of 1999, I was 36 years old and indestructible. I had a number of roles to play: husband / father, pastor, coach, project manager, weekend athlete, part-time carpenter / landscaper / mechanic and I was not very self-aware. I was as “happy” and “healthy” as any of my peers. Like many of you, I was chasing the best of everything. My time wheel was spinning fast and mostly pegged at 10. That’s what it felt like, anyway.
Evaluating Your “Life Wheel”
Here’s a quick exercise to help you see your life from a different vantage point. You can use this wheel for yourself.
Identify eight things that are important to you. You might include things like Family, Hobby, Physical Health, Work, Relationships, Opportunities, Emotional Wellbeing, Community… you get the idea.
Write your eight things, one each on the end of the eight spokes on the wheel. Then rate your satisfaction with your investment of time, energy and focus for these things on a scale of 0-10 (ten being great and zero being awful). Make a mark on the spoke where you feel it belongs. Now connect those marks around the wheel.
Here’s an example:
Like my example, yours probably looks pretty lumpy.
Should it be a perfect circle, all pressed out to 10? Can it be? Perhaps, in short bursts, but all tens is not sustainable. I found that out the hard way. It’s okay for your wheel to be asymmetrical. This exercise is really designed to give you some perspective. Does your “wheel” feel right to you?
Here is another way to look at; this wheel represents your “life balance” right now. If it feels out of balance, it is time to make some adjustments. For example, if you have “Physical Health” on your wheel, and you rated it a four out of ten, this probably highlights the need for you to consider your health more. Now, here comes the best part. If you want to push out that score for Physical Health to an eight, you can do it, BUT, it is not free. Realize that something else on your wheel will need to be adjusted to make an allowance for it OR you will need to put more energy and focus into it to make it happen. Conversely, you may have rated Work a ten. Should you dial back a bit so you can spend more time and energy on your Relationships or with Friends? What’s one thing that you can do differently to dial back your Work? That’s the perspective you may need to inspire some action.
I like this exercise because it helps us move from being a “victim” of our current circumstances to becoming empowered to make targeted changes to improve how we feel about our lives. Your wheel doesn’t need to roll smoothly, but the flat and spikey parts need to be evaluated from time to time.
A Personal Epiphany: The Day Everything Changed
Let’s get back to 1999, when I thought that I had it all under control. Sure, work was stressful, but there were so many great things going on in my life. I thought that I could handle it. Stress is normal, right?
Three days in the cardiac ward, as a 36 year old patient, has a way of changing one’s viewpoint and priorities. My day (June 17th) was the first day of that stay in 1999. My cardiologist called it a syncopal episode, I now call it an “epiphany”. I was “killing myself” trying to do it all. Maybe you can relate to that.
[Note: your body doesn’t know the difference between good stress (eustress) and bad stress. Even lots of really good things can create stress in your body. All of it is worth paying attention to. See my other blog for more on this.]
On January 1st, along with the rest of the nation, young Andy would sit down and take stock and list a few things that he wanted to start or stop doing. I would make New Year’s resolutions every year. A, seemingly, worthy task, but guilt inducing, because by February, I had already failed to deliver on most of them. The making of New Year’s resolutions was more of a ritual than a meaningful growth tool.
The POWER Dashboard: A Simple System for Balance
Today, I don’t make resolutions on January 1st, I set goals and make plans. My process starts on June 17th every year. That’s my day to carve out time to stop and check my “gauges”.
I have a personal dashboard that I pay attention to, now. The dashboard I like to use only has five “gauges” on it: Physical, Opportunities, Work, Emotional, Relationships. It spells POWER and it helps me maintain better balance and establish healthier boundaries and goals. Perhaps it could help you, too. Here’s a visual:
It is now, still, 2024 and on June 17th of this year, I checked these gauges. I took some time to ask myself, “how am I doing physically?”, “am I managing, prioritizing and taking advantage of the opportunities in my life?”, “how is work going; too much, not enough, or just right?”, “is my emotional and mental health in a good place or are there some things I need some help with?” and “am I nurturing and being nurtured by the relationships in my life?”
These questions aren’t open ended, but reflective of a measurable goal that I established on January 1st of 2024.
Here are some of the specific goals that I established:
- Physical: work up to 25 pull-ups (all in a row) and lower my A1C to 1.0
- Opportunities: start to write a book and create a new brand and website
- Work: establish some revenue numbers to chase and identify new client relationships to develop
- Emotional: identify some areas in my life that I need to grow and become more emotionally intelligent; create a list of books to read and contact a counselor to set up some sessions to help me navigate some changes
- Relationships: put a focus on staying more in touch with my sons; establish some regular reminders to check in with them
You should set your own POWER goals.
On June 17th of 2024, I looked at each “tank” (or goal). Which tanks are filling up? Are any of them empty? When considering the specific tank, am I reaching my goal or missing it. Which tank needs more fuel and which one should I leave alone for a while?
I may have already achieved the goal or might have some negative indicators. Do I need to put more gas in that tank or keep doing what I’m doing? What will it take to change the result? It then becomes a choice. Will I let a tank get a little lower because I need to fill up another. Will I push through and try to fill all of the tanks. Specifically, here’s what I looked at:
- Physically: I achieved the pull up goal, but I was still working on the A1C goal (note: I was able to knock out 25 pull ups in early June, but an injury prevented me from maintaining this gain. My A1C number was going down, but not at 1 yet). It’s a work in progress but I need to heal my shoulder and get back at it. Until then, I can let this one cruise.
- Opportunities: I started my book outline and did some research, I rebranded and launched a new website. This tank is just full enough. If I want to put some gas in it, I can start writing some chapters.
- Work: my revenue goal was tracking well. Keep the fuel pump going.
- Emotional: I had completed some good counseling sessions and was “field testing” some of the adjustments and journaling regularly. This tank looks like it is at the right level, no more fuel will be added.
- Relationships: my sons and I are communicating much more regularly and we spend more time together monthly. I would like to put some fuel in this one and plan more events with them.
So now, January 1st of 2025 is coming up, but the development work has already been started. For me, it started on June 17th. Now, it’s time to get it in writing. No resolutions, just some written goals and achievable plans for 2025.
I hope that you will take some time to pause and reflect this holiday season and to “check your gauges”. I’m convinced that most of you have a dashboard of sorts, but you are probably too busy and distracted by all of the good things your chasing to notice any warning lights that are blinking. 36 year old Andy, sure wasn’t paying attention to them. So, January 1st is a milestone day and a great time to ask yourself, “how am I doing?” Then, listen to your answers, make some plans, and commit to some changes.
Your Own Day for Reflection
Finally, what’s your day? I encourage you to choose one. Select a day in your year that is meaningful. Mine will be June 17th every year. That’s the day that reminds me to do what I should, and to stay out of the cardiac ward. January 1st, doesn’t do that for me. My day is personal, yours should be, too. Then it can act as a motivational anchor and help to hold you accountable. No resolutions this new year’s day, just more POWER. All the best to you and yours in 2025!