I was two weeks into my new job as a professional facilitator and trainer, when one of the elder-statesman from the firm filled the door of my office. His name was Lanny and he was an imposing figure. No nonsense and well respected with a history of success.
My Introduction to Real Feedback
I had seen Lanny in the training room earlier that day, eating a cookie. I assumed that he was just grabbing a treat, taking advantage of the snack tray provided to the class when we hosted a training program in our offices. I knew that Lanny had spent some time in the U.S. Navy and described his job as a deckhand on a submarine. In fact, he was one of the first “Navy frogmen”, the precursor to our modern day Navy Seals. Trapped by this man’s presence in the frame of my doorway, he asked, “Can I give you some feedback?” I was nervous. My understanding of feedback was about to change.
Lanny had a saying, “Feedback is the breakfast of champions.” He was making a reference to Wheaties cereal. Many years ago, the best athletes and champions got their picture on the box. The implication was that if you ate Wheaties, you could become a champion, too. Just like the ones on the box.
Sadly, I never figured out how to eat my way to a better me. I think that Wheaties are tasty, sure, but they did not enhance my athletic ability. Hard work did; hard work with feedback. Lanny was right (and gluten free).
Feedback does help improve performance in every area of life. His wisdom tells us that we can only get better if we ask for, receive and “digest” feedback. Thankfully, Lanny, also, gave us a model to use. After every consulting engagement, presentation, or report delivery, he would ask us to give him some “feedback”.
He asked two questions: “what did I do well?” and “what could I do differently to be more effective?” There was no rank or emotion. We had an objective conversation about what would help him get better at what he was doing for a living. He wanted to be the best consultant he could be and he wanted us to help him. Once we finished sharing our assessment of him, he would say, “thank you” and then ask, “Can I give you some feedback?” This became our flywheel for continuous improvement.
It is no wonder that the first time I was introduced to real feedback, I was nervous (scared is a better descriptor). I expected sarcasm, ridicule and humiliation, which was the model used by my previous managers. Their approach involved telling me what I did wrong and how ineffective I was.
The PLUS/DELTA Feedback Model
The feedback model that Lanny used was different, better, and very simple. It’s called “PLUS/DELTA” feedback (not plus/minus). The delta symbol (Δ) in science means “change”. So, this model talks about what should change, not what is bad. Feedback should not feel like criticism but should feel constructive and helpful.
Here’s another example of the model. Put yourself into the cleats of a professional athlete for a moment. Every week they are going to hear some feedback from their coach. They expect it, want it, and are generally not afraid or threatened by it. They know that their coach wants them to improve so that they (and the team) can perform better. This coach watches film and has a perspective about how their player can improve their performance. They see things that the player can’t. They have information to help them improve and they want to share it. So when the player gets back onto the field, they have what they need to perform better. This is a better picture of what feedback should be: it’s really a gift. Like a gift, good feedback shows that someone cares about you and they want to help you get better. Who doesn’t want that? So, we should all ask for feedback and learn to share it freely.
How to Give Effective Feedback
Let’s drill down to the “how”.
When preparing to give someone feedback, you should put some thought into what you want to say, and also when and where you want to say it. On the plus-side, ask yourself, “What did they do well, what should they keep doing or do more of?” On the delta-side, the question is, “what can they change to be more effective, what should they stop doing, do differently, or start doing?”
Make sure to answer these questions with descriptive, relevant, purposeful, timely and honest observations. General descriptions like “you did well” or “that was good” do not meet this standard. Also, using absolutes like “always” and “never” diminish your credibility, because these descriptors are almost never true (ironic, right?) Instead, you should be specific about what you have observed, use examples.
When preparing, consider the acrostic “BEER”:
B: Describe their Behavior
E: Provide an Example (or two)
E: Explain the Effect that it had
R: Agree on a Response or what will change going forward
Creating a Feedback-Friendly Environment
The feedback should be timely and delivered as soon as you feel appropriate (sooner is better than later). Finally, choose a venue that makes the feedback effective, remove distractions and other barriers to communication. With practice, giving and receiving feedback, using this model, becomes very conversational and builds trust. This is significant, since trust is the foundation for all great relationships.
Needless to say, I’m a huge proponent of plus/delta feedback; both giving and receiving. It’s my opinion that everyone can benefit from feedback from anyone, anytime, anywhere, for any reason. This is a bold statement, I know. I can hear you saying, “Andy, be careful what you ask for.” So, I close with some cautionary thoughts.
First, when giving feedback, care about the other person. The best feedback is heartfelt. When you really do have the best interest of the other person in mind, it becomes more meaningful. It is also much easier to deliver. Lastly, make it easy for people to give you feedback. You will need to be emotionally strong. If you are not, it will make you stronger (or appear to be). Listen, honestly, you can always learn something from someone else’s perspective. Learn to be open, humble and grateful for the “gift” of feedback. You don’t have to agree with everything either. Sometimes the appropriate response will be “Thank you, you have given me something to think about.”
Your Homework: Start Giving and Receiving Feedback
So, your homework assignment is to make a list of some folks who need to hear, “Can I give you some feedback?” Keep in mind, that this list should include you.